dead

Recent photos :D

term1 :D

heh 

we are normal

sema banana<3

Busing with manohar

Me and manohar

its another heart <3

ariel <3

wow ... i have not been on for ages! i guess i've found better things to do hahaha.

But like anyways life lately is frustrating. It's about a guy. But no i don't like him or anything but to find out something i didn't made me really agitated and deeply sadden. I can't stop thinking about it.. ugh my head, take my misery away please anyone.

Liking someone is such a huge job seriously, the feeling of nervousness... and the down buzz you get when you putt yourself down about how you're so far away? Wait i dont even know what i'm on about. But no i don't like anyone. Never had since quite awhile ago so i shall keep this up.

Anywho this is my last week of school YE GEE. I get to finally relax and have my sleep ins i never get! But can't stop working though... sad life. I'm also excitied to go a bit of a shopping spree (just a bit ok) and watch despicable me 2, monster inc university, man of steel and world war z!

So this term was really busy as well as term 1 with internals and externals :s Man year12 is quite a big stressful jump from year11...

That's all for now cause no one reads this like literally no one...... lol oh well.

my friend and ball date of the night heh

photobooth in the ball

its a heart!

Pineapple lumps <3

yes... i got the best dressed at the ball

one of them asian groups <3

one of the indian group :D

Song of the day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GFQYaoiIFh8
^one of my favourite song right now on replay <3

Happy mother's day!

To my mum that's watching from above, happy mother's day!
It's been about 2 years + since you left us... but we still think about you night and day.

I remember how I used to try buy things for my mum even when i was short on money (using my savings) and made cards for her. Good memories. It still hurts that she isn't here with me and seeing me in my ball gown and all dressed up with makeup and hair done professionally. It hurts so much when I'm down and she's not here next to me telling me everything will be okay and comfort me through hugs and kisses. It hurts that she's not seeing me grow up and graduate from high school and university then becoming someone successful and get married and meet your son in law (lol) and your grandchildren (tacky but its true).
It still feels so empty and so odd that she's not here everyday in the household (honestly it stills feels weird and no one will understand anything I'm feeling and been though).
Even though my family friend told me to remember happy thoughts about my mum, thinking about how i was right there in front of her slowly in pain and fading from this world and wouldn't be able to do anything but cry... haunts me and for me to see that makes me feel so hopeless and useless. It's so hard to face reality and life without her honestly.. it's really tough. May not seem like it but I hate expressing these emotions to other people.
While I was working, I've served a lot of customers preparing their presents/gifts for Mother's day. I felt happy for them but yet breaks my heart how I can't do something big for my own mother. I envy them all.
I know that God is with me and she's always by my side supporting my family and I. But I can't get over it, and don't think I ever will be. That hole in my heart can never be filled up. Ugh, I know I shouldn't be like this cause its just going to worsen my health condition. Yes, I was diagnosed with Hyperthyroidism just few months after my mother's death. Honestly, the first six months was one of the hardest thing to overcome with a rather severe one. It was pretty high reading. Normal reading is about 7? Mine was around 20. Glad I didn't have to go for operation.

Ok lets stop, i think im being a depressing cow. But yeah no one reads this cause no one knows it... so its okay to write it here. Better than fb omg. And  my friends forgotten about this so mmhm.

Well anyways, last night was the school ball! It was one of the best night of my life. I hated my dress as I came to love other dresses more than mine, which really made me dislike mine. Sorry Farah and Suaima for listening (lol) but that hatred ended till I won "Best dressed in ball". That was hilarious, even Abi and Iara couldn't stop! Really shocking cause I didn't hear why they called my name for as I was talking to someone but then decided to hide -_- stupid me but went reluctantly. Food was pretty average, dessert was horrible.

Just a few photos:-

<3

:3

eyeshadows

mother and daughter C:

same height with era

two chingchong and a boi

Nola babe:D

Bipolar days

Hi guys, haven't been blogging often oh no. But life is going pretty average AT THE MOMENT. At times I just can't handle it and at times its so fun and full of excitement.
Well so term 1 is finally over, I am so overjoyed that its the holidays! Sucks how it's only two weeks :(

Anyways this term was very bipolar. It had its ups and downs but yeah with so many internals everything just made it so bleh :( So for physics internal I got Excellence first time yay so I didn't need to resubmit, phew. For chemistry today was our re-submissions and I got Merit cause of my units... woopsie, but its okay its Excellence now :D Then......... my biology common test was the biggest fail ever. First Not Achieved this year! But that's okay, cause I didn't study... and it's my fault. English internal; creative writing and speeches. Maths internal re-submissions are next term so omg, I hope I don't forget!

Okay so for speeches I decided to do video podcast so after school on Wednesday I went over to Suaima's and used her new mac book pro (x0x00x) to record myself. Boy did I mucked up ALOT. So many takes HAHAHAHA I'm funny. But at last I had an average one.. so let's hope its Excellence and my mistakes doesn't count.

Today at lunch time was amazing with j-dawg. Well not with but like more of asking since my sister was there... UGH FAILED THOUGH. Cause she wasn't helping me :( But still worked slightly. But why oh why. I've always gone and chatted j-dwag anonymously though tumblr HAHAHA. I am one big hypocrite ever.

Things are pretty average right now, da hornyz bonding with their ball dates hahahaha. Except livy :( Need to get her someone darn.

Anywho, yesterday at hockey training I got whacked with a hockey ball straight to my left toe. Boy did it hurt like kasjdf;lkajsdf. More than the one on the knee. It now consists colours of purple, blue, green and black. I cannot even walk properly so I limp sort of. :'(

Before Nada's bday party 

cute az

Speech recording session (y)

Selfie in English while Ariel and Abi was being touchy

R.I.P abi's black framed glasses

With Suvanna in Bio trying to look for a damn paramecium.

Song of the day:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d9NANZRkTfQ <-- Too good <3

health issuesssss:(

HAII.

two or three weeks ago, I went to doctors appointment! It was the decision day for the treatment of my hyperthyroidism and graves disease in which I was diagnosed with it for two years now. But I've decided to keep taking same dosage of the same pills I've been taking and hoping and praying hard that it will resolve one day.
Things I've found out about it is that the pills that I'm taking have a slight potential risk in getting liver cancer. I'm really concerned hearing the word cancer. The other thing is that my graves disease can be passed down to my babies so I would have to consult and ensure my doctor or whatever knows about it before hand.
By the end of next year I've also decided to get a permanent solution to my hyperthyroidism. Either surgery (which is not recommended) or intake of a small tablet of radioactive iodine.. I really do not wish to take any but they can't just keep me on the same pills.

Radioactive iodine may sound safe but it kills every single thing in my thyroid gland, hence I would have to take this pill call thyroxine for the rest of my life as a replacement of thyroid hormones needed for human daily functions. :/ They have to kill everything to ensure that there won't be any slight risk of getting thyroid cancer. Thinking about it makes me sad.

K, anyways other than that what else?
I brought my ball dress from this shop but it's not a specialized ball shop so they don't do the service of checking if other people have brought that dress from the same school as you. So I have a risk of someone with the same dress as I'm wearing. I'm so scared. It would be so embarrassing and I would cry so hard if someone did. But before that I found the most beautiful dress ever in town! It's royal blue with nice designed jeweled on the top. Its just so amazing. The price of it was $500 and obviously my dad didn't allow :(

Photos later!
I also did some researched and with my fashionista's taste (Suaima) we both decided and booked this lady to do our makeup for us (manhor too). However the two Indians getting hair elsewhere well i'm getting my hair done with this lady.

Ye, so I think i screwed up my biology internal so I have to rush to fix it up ugh :( My teacher is horrible horrible hooorrrible. Done my physics internal last week and chemistry test and English test too. Doing my internal for English at the moment.. ugh. 

Song of the Day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U41KPUfOSFk <-- I love this song like crazy <33

P.S Today evening somethings happened HAHA so funny omg. Farah's ... and Suaima's......... cutiex0x0x0x0x0

Online shopppinn''

Hello hello peace to the world.
Okay wow what have I been up to? Well basically school. It's alright my classes. I just wish that sometimes I can just go and make new friends but it's rather difficult.. not an easy thing to do if you're someone that's pretty shy and paranoid all the time (me).
There are some certain people I would like to make friends with without trying to be an annoying bug to them so oh well. :/ there goes my social life.

Anywho I shall tell you who I hang with in my classes: On a monday I have Suaima, Katrina, and Irada for chemistry. Does the teacher count? Oh troy. Then I have maths who I sit next to Olivia and Abi constantly turning around to talk to us cool people (y). & I sometimes talk to Naomi and Azure and Usama. Tutor is gay cause it's stupid. Then interval with da hornyz. In physics I sit with Hanami and sometimes talk to some other people. Oh troy. Then biology with Abi, Suvaana and Talina. Sometimes talk to people in front of us; Jimmy (real asian kid), Josh (nice hair), An Lun (Thanks for putting up with our lazyness) and Denrick (thanks for homework answers when needed). After would be lunch with da hornyz. Then English with Abi, Ariel and Suvaana! And a few other friends.

Yeh I'm like surrounded by friends that are female in my classes. Its okay. I assure you I won't swing in the wrong direction!

Physics is driving me insane... And the practical internal is apparently next week. Yes I'm panicking as I do not understand. Stupid teacher. Maths practice test is this Thursday and I am scared. Must practice! I also got some stupid homework from work. It's like 12 week training planner damiit.

This certain individual is getting to me. It's really annoying and pisses me off ALOT. Makes me feel really worthless and just want to tear. Although that person may not be significant in my life nor 'it's' but still, I hate the feeling of being treated in a bad way and looked in a bad way. Makes me feel so very sad. :(

Hm other than that its mainly school stuff. Ball is also coming soon and I really want to go but boy am I scared of my dad saying no... :/

OH! Yesterday my teal maxi skirt came! From Suaima hahahahahhaahahaha. This is it:

messy room...

My first ever thing I brought online. :') JUST touching the ground sadly ugh :'(

Song of the day:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxxO7p3HvhI <-- I swear Cars have the best soundtracks <3

Massage

Yes. I need that. Someone massage me please.
I am so exhausted. Always been ever since school started. Trying to study and listen hard in class and having to work every Friday and Saturday. I'm just so very tired. I even took a nap of 3+ hours last evening! Had the best laugh last night from searching up the pineapple lumps names with Suaima omfg. And found a really really really funny old as blog of Farah's and Suaima's.

So I haven't been blogging much soo, first week of school was like rather horrible, can't really remember anything significant that week. Second week which was last week um... oh seema arrived last week yaya.

Last week um.... Wednesday? Omg I honestly can't remember anything! Well we went to mall after school lol. Got friendship bracelets omg bffl gois x0x0x Thursday after school went to hockey practices thing with Suaima. Got so tired omg and it was blazing hot!

Last weekend on Saturday I went to meet kim nana for like two hours lol. Ronnie's cafe is so good wow. Afterwards got dressed up and ready for CNY celebration with my family and family friends. It was rather fun! We booked practically the whole restaurant except two tables which there was few customers dining in, which includes three white people having fun watching us do some karaoke quizzes while drinking wine. I also wore heels at last! My black wedged heels from Farmers for $40 :D

Oh I also brought lipsticks that day from Farmers too hehe. 

The only photo I could find -_- there's more somewhere with other people... Anyways, here's me and Gabby! :D

Sunday I had to work since I swapped shifts for Saturday... And I made friends with Laura :D She's so nice and rather funny. 

Well now its third week of school loool. Yesterday (Monday), school was so dreadful. I could not concentrate and I was in a mood where I think I'm really stupid and going to fail everything. Today was much better but physics was just horrible. A horrible teacher who cannot teach her students properly and does not explain fully. No one in my class gets what she is talking about so we are all screwed (y).
After school today walked home with Suaima and Bram :D Suaima got the trials for tomorrow omg, all thanks to Bram!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So proud of her. GOOD LUCK GIRL MAN. Afterwards walked to his house in the heat omfg... what an exercise! Went home and went diary-ing with Suaima. Another exercise (y)

That is all. Goodbye.

P.S I got excellence in one of the unfamiliar paper from 2012 year 12 exam paper omg what a shock. I have to email my love to my previous English teacher <3 And Merit for the other one which I've only just finished paragraph 1. lol.

Song of the day:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JO-d5EkgDY <-- Theme song with Suaima.

Year12

What have I missed out...

Friday - After assembly, rushed to go town to tidy my eyebrows and brought a dress from valleygirl lol with fara

a bit big on me..

Saturday - work & Sunday 
Monday - First day of school and it was pretty shit. The weather was one main reason that made my day pretty frustrating ugh.
Tuesday - Slight improvement cause I like my physics class cause its fun with Nada <3
Wednesday - Went to eat dim sum as I was supposed to shout my dad and my sister. But just as we were about to pay ... I realized I had forgotten my wallet (y) Lol thanks sis! Went to town after some detour of going back home to get my wallet and doing a bit of laundry lol. Hanged out with my sister and did a bit of adventuring. Brought a pink red high waisted skirt (so nice) and red lacey top (nicenice) from ValleyGirl. Halved the price with my sister and brought this thin jumper from dotti hehe. I also brought "Cosmetic Warrior" from Lush which is this facial mask which is most suitable for people with oily skin and few breakouts! Rather expensive but hey, I was desperate! Had curry laksa from Malaysian mamak restaurant for dinner and i got to admit, it's the best curry laksa ever in NZ.

mine

My sister's

                                                                

Thursday - School was getting better until first period when I heard Nada's timetable changed and she's unfortunately not in any of my classes now. Got really pissed off at first like no joke. But now I'm just really really sad. Instead of being in the same classes with me she's in Farah's classes. I am even MORE sad. Stupid school for last minute changes ugh so unorganized far out! Went for a jog in the evening non stop run and it felt goooooooooooooood.
-> Tried the facial mask and the smell of it wasn't that great... contained garlic but surprisingly it doesn't have the smell of strong garlic!

Friday - School was average. Work after and farah and I bus to Botz and the bus was so full it was insanely packed omg. So we had to stand in the front showing our faces to people since the front of the bus is see through HAHAA idk why we were laughing but it was just to funny.

Stuff during previous summer holidays:

Owl decor for sema and dog for livvy

Hanging after work in town with min lee and sis :D!

Hanging with Fara - idk where the other photos are ugh

Shoes I got from town $30

Lamb on rice with salad and humus sauce and pita bread at Arabic restaurant with Nada. AMAZING STUFF OMFG.

Peach Nata with Nada in Momo Tea :3 YUM.

Asians and their fob namings. *facepalm*

The new skirt i got like last year dec.

Nada and I. I love you nada man.

Ice mango frapp + pearls with Nada at Momo Tea, amazing stuff

you might be wandering why there's so many photos of me... well there's heaps with Nada but she didn't let me copy it ;( slut.