hm well.. today was asdljadf. idk what to say, its like ......mleh? LOL dont worry its just me. Idk but my mind was just blank the whole day and i just cant be bothered with anything to do with anything in this countryy loooooooooools i just want to get away and go to some city and party xoxoxoxoxox no. i want to go shopping and i want to eat so much that i wont get fat. i want to relax on the beach and get a massage done with facial treatments. something peaceful, and something i like to do; shopping. not that i EVERRRR buy ANYTHING. ugh... thats why i rather have objects than food. because i sort of get food all the time from home and i dont really care, i rather starveee and get my object! thats me.
ok im going off-topic? heh.k. today was a rather sunny yet windy day. i hate the wind!! its so cold omg. soo cooollllddd. i was practicing my speech and im really paranoid and worried about everything like seriously. everrrrythinggg in life. and i cant concentrate, i keep making mistakes. its really annoying cause i keep restarting and i keep thinking ugh im so stupid im going to faill everything, cause seriously what i want to become is sooo hard because im not a slightest bit smart. omg loooooool im so funny at times i cry cause i think im dumb. :') yey! i cry about everything but no one sees me, secretive yeh. omgomg! i have this space i like when im depressed. i go to my closet and sit in the dark small space and i just like do my own stuff and then i eventually become quiet and then i fall asleep. its like my space cause sometimes i just like to be alone and blend in with the darkness. hm anyone like this too? hm maybe not..
sooo like atm, my dad is playing some peaceful asian as musical instrument. and its reallly really nice but atm im like not so good mood and its making me depressed ugh my eyes are tearing wtf? ok whatever no one even reads this cause my english sucks balls. i should just type in chinese. but the musical instruement is nice but not NOW. its like flute. just flute and something with string in it.
do i have to go school tomorrow? i really dont want to. but i have to cause my dad doesn't allow me to waste my education. -.- even when im sick!!! he will only accept if im like in major pain or something. i want to have a major fever like i did in australia. although its like torture i dont care. i stay in bed feeling hot and cold as ever, and i barely ate and wow i lost weight. i was really happy. im like surrounded by skinny people lols i seem to be the heaviest one-.- hate ma bones ugh hate it curse u. omg once i got so angry i started punching and hitting my shoulder bones o.o thts how much i hated it LOLS. but yeh learnt my lessons. hurt like shit so i had to put cream. no one knew as usual. no one cares algooodsssssssssssssss. i shall await my peaceful island in my dreams.
k. gooodnightyo wish me luck with my speeches tmr! im presenting it. hope my asian fob accent doesnt come out.
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